Posts Tagged ‘Gemma Bailey’

🍋Tales of Further Lemons

Posted on: May 3rd, 2018 by admin No Comments

On Monday evening we had to take the dementing ones cat to the vet. The cat had been poorly a while but the dementing one was not really acknowledging it.

On the way there, my sister’s social worked called me. She told me that there has been a whistle blowing incident at my sisters care home. There is an allegation of abuse towards my sister. A member of staff has been suspended and the police are conducting an investigation.

The social worker requested I do not retaliate by hunting anyone down and performing KGB style torture. I reluctantly promised I wouldn’t.

At the vets, they were offering to find ways to keep Ali cat alive. The dementing one was agreeable to this. However I called it and requested the cat be put to sleep. It was the right thing to do because the poor thing looked like an RSPCA advert and was going to get more and more neglected.

‘Turns out doing the right thing is hard. The dementing one was very pragmatic about it all (she doesn’t do emotion anymore really). Meanwhile I was a blubbering mess who could only just muster a “Thank you” as Ali cat slipped into an eternal sleep. .

We went back to the dementing ones house and I dug a grave for Ali cat.

I then called in on my sister and reminded her carer’s that I’m her appointed person – that they need to look after her well because she has someone fearless who is looking out for her and who doesn’t tolerate mistreatment. I said it in a Russian accent so they knew I meant business.

The good thing about all of this, is that even the bits that leave me feeling a little bruised and broken, remind me I’m still alive. And whilst that continues to be the case, I’ll keep on fixing what I can. I live in service to make things change and improve in ways that fuel my reasons to like myself, to be proud of myself and to be at peace with myself.

Everyday, in every *way* I will continue to get better and better.


Posted on: May 2nd, 2018 by admin No Comments

I was recently dating someone. I say dating, it was like having a friend who you wasn’t really sure was in to you or not. Come to think of it, it would be unfair to call it dating. It was probably better termed as ‘confusion’.

In the confusion, I’d actually come to like said person. It felt like there was a ray of sunshine on the otherwise quite uncertain climate of my life, albeit without the guarantee that a full blown suny day would occur at any point. But I was optimistic.

Then he vanished. It’s called ghosting. I took a few days to realise that something dreadful hadn’t happened to him, he just hadn’t wanted to ever see or speak to me again all after making plans to come for dinner just a few days earlier.

So when, after a couple of weeks of wondering how the heck I’d managed to fudge that one up, I was asked on a date by someone else, I figured it would be a good idea to get my head away from confusion and move on.

This was the result:

Today I went on a date. It went so well I thought I should share the very best parts of how I did it, so that you too can experience dating joy.

G – me
MS – male species

MS: So you have your own business?
G: I do. I have four businesses but they are all friends.
MS: Four? Wow….And one is the kids thing.
G: It is. That’s the busiest one!
MS: So there’s a couple of people helping you with that one?
G: Yes. There’s 4 staff in the office and 39 franchisees.
MS: Oh. Wow. So who’s in charge of all that?
G: I am?!
MS: Wow. That must be a lot to take on.
G: I always say ‘there’s only one thing worse than being the boss.’
MS: What’s that?
G: Not being the boss.
MS: I have to say I find you quite intimidating.
G: Ahhh Thank you!
MS: Errrm…
G: Opps. That wasn’t a compliment was it? I mean, I’m sorry you feel that way….
Soooo we’re not going to do a second date are we?
MS: I errr, it’s erm –
G: Use your words.
MS: We’re both very busy people.
G: Yes, this is true. I need to get home and do my washing because I’ve run out of knickers – again!
MS: I’m going to leave now.
G: It was smashing to have met me. I mean you. YOU! I mean it was really smashing to meet you.

These guidelines will be helpful to those of you who are new to dating or those of you who feel your style has become a little stale. I am available for other great dating advice by request.

You’re welcome.

What Professionalism Means to Me in the World of NLP

Posted on: April 22nd, 2018 by admin No Comments

I know that NLP is a flaky business. I think everyone who is a professional in the industry knows that too.

But I come from a litigious background and I’m used to completing paperwork.

Lots of it.

I didn’t think it was going to be that way in the beginning – when I became a nursery nurse, I thought I would be with children. However, as the years went on and the UK became more health and safety conscious, more robust monitoring management and record-keeping took place and the demands of my job changed dramatically.

I know that I bought that attitude with me when I set up NLP4Kids.

As I said, I know that NLP is filled with shady characters. In my opinion even ones with the word ‘professional’ in their title raise some question marks over their professionalism.

I don’t know of any other NLP organisation who works quite like we do.

Every NLP4Kids practitioner has a ‘key worker’. The key worker is someone based in our head office who takes responsibility for ensuring that our practitioners are working in the most professional way possible. They ensure that each of the practitioners they oversee, has up-to-date first-aid, safeguarding, DBS, data protection, has retrained with us within the last three years, and that they subscribe to regular professional development opportunities.

We do this because we want to separate ourselves from the shady people in NLP. Of course we love what NLP has to offer and we believe that it deserves to have a better name, but at the same time we want to distinguish ourselves from those who work in less ethical ways.

Our practitioners are heavily scrutinised before they are licenced with us. This includes going through an interview process, completing the formal application which includes two references and a medical questionnaire. Nobody get started until all of those are in place.

Nobody continues as a practitioner if any of those important documents expire.

If for some reason a practitioner’s documentation does expire, we remove them from service for a minimum of two weeks unless they are prepared to pay a fine, in which they case they get reinstated more quickly – providing of course the documentation is also updated. It encourages our practitioners to take responsibility for their admin work in the most professional way – meaning that none of those important pieces of professional materials can ever escape through the cracks.

It’s not easy. It’s not easy staying on top of what is currently 39 people and making sure that everything they should have, they have. But I would rather pay for extra team members in my head office to ensure that what is needed is in place, than to hold up my hands and say it’s not our responsibility.

I think that a professional organisation has to be willing to take responsibility for the people that they are labelling as competent enough to work with vulnerable people and children. Because the truth is that the general public do not take the level of interest that’s required in making sure that the people they work with, have everything they need.

I’d like to think they do, but they really don’t.

It’s so rare that I’m asked by a parent in my one-to-one practice, to see a copy of my DBS and it means I could get away with not having one. But I don’t. Because even though doing the right thing is hard but, it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it.

I think it would be so much easier to say it’s down to the people that deliver the work we do, to let me know if there is something about their lives that could impact upon at work.

The work that we do is important and it’s urgent. The urgency is very often underpinning a parents desire to get help for a child. They can easily overlooked things such as ‘Does this practitioner possess all of the right documents?’

So that’s why we make sure it’s already done.

We make sure that people don’t have to ask questions because we answer them as standard.

That, to me, is what professionalism looks like. To my knowledge there is no other NLP organisation that works in this way. There is no other organisation that enforce the rules that we enforce and makes the requirements of its practitioners that we make.

Sometimes when I delivering an NLP4Kids discovery day, questions about professionalism in the world of NLP crop-up and I speak with passion about it. I defend who we are because we work so very differently to so many other NLP organisations.

One day we might just have over 100 practitioners and the job of managing all of their documentation will be really hard work. We will have to put some new systems in place to make sure that we are able to do this effectively. But it won’t stop us from doing it, because this is important. Doing the right thing is often really hard work, but we going to do it anyway because that’s the kind of people that we are.

Will the industry change to become more standardised? Maybe. But I doubt it.

People have been talking about changes to the alternative health industry for decades and to be quite honest, I think the government have got bigger things to worry about than NLP, so unless there is some kind of colossal media driven case (which they have been some in the past already and they didn’t really create much leverage), then I don’t see things becoming governed any time soon.

The upside to this is that a lot of organisations can avoid the annoyance of managing the people that they qualify in the field of NLP. They can work freely and easily any avoid responsibility for them.

In some ways I am somewhat jealous. However, I believe that if you were making a choice between those who demonstrate the level of care and dedication such as we do, and those who do not (particularly if the choice you are making is for your child) I’d like to think that the choice becomes a relatively simple one to make.

Another element that I feel adds to our credibility is our honesty about NLP not been for everyone and not solving everything. We’re very open about what we can and can’t do and when it might be the time to redirect you to help and support elsewhere.

We don’t claim to be clinicians we do not claim to work in a medical way – because we don’t. It’s just not what we do. I think that the sign of a good practitioner is when they can honestly tell you “I’m sorry, I can’t help you.”

A good practitioner has to get their ego out of the way and be able to refer on to other professionals from time to time . Not everyone within the field of NLP is good at that.

It’s one of the learning curves that a practitioner goes through when they join NLP4Kids. The realisation that they can’t fix every problem, that they can’t help every client and that they absolutely do not have all of the answers.

Once again it’s a hard thing to do to stand up and “I’m not the right person for you.” It’s sometimes uncomfortable to share that kind of truth, but it is the right thing to do.

Gemma Bailey

Banana Man

Posted on: March 15th, 2018 by admin No Comments

When my Dad died, I had to go through probate which, if you don’t know, is a court order that allows you to wrap up the affairs of a loved one who has passed away.

Along with planning a funeral, this was a brand new experience to me. I strongly disliked the pace with which it all went and the colossal amount of admin which included a lot of filling out forms and phoning people. Plus the cleaning up, selling of or disposing of a home full of his belongings.

At the time I thought it was the biggest project I’d done since having to submit portfolios of 2 years work at college. Except this time I was doing it alongside running a business. Or trying to!

People say “If I can do anything to help…” but they really can’t. All the creditors, banks and estate agents wanted to talk to *me*. If I had a regular job, I recon it would have used up a years annual leave plus weekends to have got it all done. With the belongings I had some much appreciated help sorting through them but it still seemed like a lot of work.

It took a year to get it all done and I know I’ve said it before, but sometimes I feel like I’m one of those punch bags on a wire spring that keeps getting hit and keeps springing right back again – 4 months after all things ‘Dad’ were done, I realised my Mum was unwell.

Cue a year of medical evaluations which concluded she was fine until eventually a diagnosis of bvFTD, which prompted my next round of legal admin.

I thought probate was rough. Probate was the warm up. Here’s how it went:

Power of attorney for Mum re finances.
Equity release for Mum to clear off debts
Paying off the creditors
Power of attorney re health and well being for Mum
Deputyship for my sister re finances
Guardianship application for her deprivation of liberties
Deputyship for my sister regarding personal welfare
Deputyship for my sister regarding medical care

Plus there was the change over of all of my sisters benefits from my Mum to me and new bank accounts etc in between.

Coming up, I’m going to make a claim on the bond for my sisters money that was spent by my Mum as a symptom of her dementia.

Then it’s done. I’m just hoping they both live a decent while longer afterwards. Not just because that’d be nice, but because if I have to do probate after having done all this I’ll go nuts!

But you know what’s driven me bonkers? The amount of times I’ve had to fill out different forms that all say the same thing and are all going to the same place. It’s like a punishment – like writing lines in school – and it’s happening to the person who is helping.

Why can’t the COP and OPG be friends? Why can’t the details I did in a personal welfare application be used in a finance one? The reasons for applying are the same (my family is crazy) and my name didn’t change in the time it took for me to complete the first form.

It makes me feel a lot of frustration and resentment. These are not good feelings to feel. Usually I look at how I can make a situation better in order to relax myself, but this is a system well outside of my control.

How do I pick myself up and get back to being lighthearted after the fog of bureaucracy has faded my enthusiasm? I want to giggle and have optimism but I find myself complaining about the government and saying things like “This ruddy country”.

Where did I go?

Luckily today, a little voice piped up in my head. A familiar voice – my own.

I was standing in a queue and some previous panic about not having enough time and not being good enough at planning had finally shut up, leaving quiet. It was in the quiet that I heard myself emerge.

In the queue beside me was a little boy of around 2.5years. He wore a yellow padded coat with the hood up, and yellow track suit bottoms.

And my little voice in my head said “Poor love. His parents have dressed him like a banana.”

And I laughed to myself.

There I am.

The Happiness in Being Strangled

Posted on: March 1st, 2018 by admin No Comments

Before I became a spotty teenager, my sister knew who I was. You could tell because she would pull my hair and try to strangle me, just like any loving sister.

When she was taken into care and was hidden away in an old castle on a mountain in Wales (that’s what they used to do with special children back then), she began to disengage from me. She would still greet my Mum, but I was invisible.

Now our Mum is demented, I have become my sisters legal guardian. In addition I am her Deputy (like a power of attorney) for her finances, personal wellbeing and medical decisions. I completed the last of the overly extensive paperwork yesterday. (Or at least I hope that was the last of it!)

A ridiculous part of the process is that I have to tell my sister that all this is happening. My sister has brain damage and doesn’t have use of or understanding of verbal communication. She lacks the concepts to understand in other ways too so expressive dance wouldn’t get the message in either, much to my disappointment.

My sister likes cashew nuts and peeling off the wall paper. She doesn’t give a fig about paperwork.

But by law, I had to go and ‘tell’ her.

I don’t often see my sister without the demented one (Mum). If I’m on my own, it’s usually because I’m calling in to give my sister (her carers) some cash to do activities in the community, for example visiting a garden centre or going swimming. It’s a fleeting visit because it’s not a very welcoming place and my sister acts like I’m invisible and walks off when I talk to her.

However yesterday I had to have a ‘conversation’ with her, and let her know I was now in charge of her life because we can’t trust the demented one with decisions these day.

And a special thing happened. She launched at me, grabbed my hair, and then went for my glasses. All this as I was saying “…So I’m going to be the one looking after you now. I’m the only one who isn’t crazy, I’m all you’ve got. Suck it up.”
Then she tried to strangle me.

So either she just found me very annoying yesterday (understandable. I annoy myself at times) or she really did know it was me and her usual sisterly loathing bubbled up into an urge to constrict her skinny finger round my neck.

I like to think it was the later – and that it meant “Ta very much. You’re a rockstar.”

The Prophet of Doom and the Enemies of Progress

Posted on: October 16th, 2013 by admin No Comments

Due to the chipper manor of some of my family members, I have renamed them in my phone. My mum is the Prophet of Doom. Some of her recent comments include:

“What is wrong with your face at the moment?”

“This is not looking good” (regarding my first mortgage application which failed)

“Personally I think it looks disgusting” (regarding some soup I made).

Luckily I know not to take offense (much) as she will also at times provide me with wonderful insights into her strange world. Such as the time she tried to explain why mum nan’s twins could have been identical, even though one was a boy and one was a girl.

Oh yes, they’ll be plenty of mum stories showing up on here, you mark my words.

Let There Be Light!

Posted on: October 15th, 2013 by admin No Comments

Today the wifi at our office has been offline. This has lent itself to a great deal of article writing and some other less helpful tasks to entertain myself. The least helpful task has been seeing if I can get to the office door without activating the movement sensor on the lights.

And I did!

I even video’d it to prove it. If this can be achieved, who knows what more is possible within my vast repitoiur of skills? I’d like to attempt walking through walls but suspect this could be a somewhat more pain inducing video series. For me at least.

What Does a Solicitor Do?

Posted on: September 16th, 2013 by admin No Comments

I think I might make a good solicitor. I don’t know much about law and that but I think I can remember the basics. Though shalt not do bad stuff etc.

I have a solicitor at the moment who was trying to explain to me the reasons why a property I am buying should be freehold, leasehold or possibly (it’s complicated) a bit of both. He spent about 40 minutes saying lots of words. The sentences felt like a combination of the same words each time in a slightly different order. “You can’t do this because of that but if you speak to whoever the whatever might happen.” Then next “You speak to whoever because the whatever might happen but you can’t do this” etc.

After 40 minutes I told him he might as well have been speaking in Chinese. He wasn’t very impressed.

Later I spoke to someone from the bank who said “That part of the building cannot be freehold because to be freehold it has to be touching the Earth.” Instantly I got it. It took one person one sentence and roughly 10 seconds to say the thing the solicitor had spent 40 minutes not saying. I’ve decided that this is why they charge you by the hour. Initially I thought it was a simple miscommunication. It isn’t it’s entirely on purpose that they confuse you and have to spend more time explaining, because it goes towards their hourly rate. Grrr.

Look – a Blog!

Posted on: August 16th, 2013 by admin No Comments

Wow I have my very own blog…. A totally self indulgent place where I don’t just have to talk about the wonderful work I do, but instead can give my own ego a bit a webspace to express itself in a bigger way than my Facebook friends would ever tolerate.

Bless you and thank you for signing up to my blog (if you haven’t that was an embedded command for you to do so.)

The goal of this blog is to give insight into the ramblings of my innermost mind. It probably won’t be informative like the People Building Blog, or inspiration like the NLP4Kids one. It’s likely to be a bit more gritty, a bit more (yes more) self indulgent and maybe if you’re lucky, occasionally funny. But I wouldn’t count on it. It will most likely be inconsistently funny, with the occasional moans and mainly self indulgent. I’m single so I’m allowed to be selfish like that. I’m also a entrepreneur and a speaker so I have disgusting amounts of self belief and I’m probably over opinionated in many people’s points of view. Luckily I don’t care too much about their point of view because I’m selfish and have a disgusting amount of self belief.


So welcome along! 😀
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