Posts Tagged ‘special needs’

🍋Tales of Further Lemons

Posted on: May 3rd, 2018 by admin No Comments

On Monday evening we had to take the dementing ones cat to the vet. The cat had been poorly a while but the dementing one was not really acknowledging it.

On the way there, my sister’s social worked called me. She told me that there has been a whistle blowing incident at my sisters care home. There is an allegation of abuse towards my sister. A member of staff has been suspended and the police are conducting an investigation.

The social worker requested I do not retaliate by hunting anyone down and performing KGB style torture. I reluctantly promised I wouldn’t.

At the vets, they were offering to find ways to keep Ali cat alive. The dementing one was agreeable to this. However I called it and requested the cat be put to sleep. It was the right thing to do because the poor thing looked like an RSPCA advert and was going to get more and more neglected.

‘Turns out doing the right thing is hard. The dementing one was very pragmatic about it all (she doesn’t do emotion anymore really). Meanwhile I was a blubbering mess who could only just muster a “Thank you” as Ali cat slipped into an eternal sleep. .

We went back to the dementing ones house and I dug a grave for Ali cat.

I then called in on my sister and reminded her carer’s that I’m her appointed person – that they need to look after her well because she has someone fearless who is looking out for her and who doesn’t tolerate mistreatment. I said it in a Russian accent so they knew I meant business.

The good thing about all of this, is that even the bits that leave me feeling a little bruised and broken, remind me I’m still alive. And whilst that continues to be the case, I’ll keep on fixing what I can. I live in service to make things change and improve in ways that fuel my reasons to like myself, to be proud of myself and to be at peace with myself.

Everyday, in every *way* I will continue to get better and better.

The Happiness in Being Strangled

Posted on: March 1st, 2018 by admin No Comments

Before I became a spotty teenager, my sister knew who I was. You could tell because she would pull my hair and try to strangle me, just like any loving sister.

When she was taken into care and was hidden away in an old castle on a mountain in Wales (that’s what they used to do with special children back then), she began to disengage from me. She would still greet my Mum, but I was invisible.

Now our Mum is demented, I have become my sisters legal guardian. In addition I am her Deputy (like a power of attorney) for her finances, personal wellbeing and medical decisions. I completed the last of the overly extensive paperwork yesterday. (Or at least I hope that was the last of it!)

A ridiculous part of the process is that I have to tell my sister that all this is happening. My sister has brain damage and doesn’t have use of or understanding of verbal communication. She lacks the concepts to understand in other ways too so expressive dance wouldn’t get the message in either, much to my disappointment.

My sister likes cashew nuts and peeling off the wall paper. She doesn’t give a fig about paperwork.

But by law, I had to go and ‘tell’ her.

I don’t often see my sister without the demented one (Mum). If I’m on my own, it’s usually because I’m calling in to give my sister (her carers) some cash to do activities in the community, for example visiting a garden centre or going swimming. It’s a fleeting visit because it’s not a very welcoming place and my sister acts like I’m invisible and walks off when I talk to her.

However yesterday I had to have a ‘conversation’ with her, and let her know I was now in charge of her life because we can’t trust the demented one with decisions these day.

And a special thing happened. She launched at me, grabbed my hair, and then went for my glasses. All this as I was saying “…So I’m going to be the one looking after you now. I’m the only one who isn’t crazy, I’m all you’ve got. Suck it up.”
Then she tried to strangle me.

So either she just found me very annoying yesterday (understandable. I annoy myself at times) or she really did know it was me and her usual sisterly loathing bubbled up into an urge to constrict her skinny finger round my neck.

I like to think it was the later – and that it meant “Ta very much. You’re a rockstar.”
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